Carlson, Allan PhD. The American Way: Family and Community in Shaping of the American Identity.  (Intercollegiate Studies Institute: (c) 2003) ISBN:978-1932236231

I love history texts and I am intrigued by books on societal trends and politics.  This work is a perfect combination of the above.  Commencing with an expose of President Theodore Roosevelt’s policies (and writings) on the family and then methodically mapping the trends of the American family and gender role development through the 20th century, Dr. Carlson provides the reader with a research-based work that actually is a compelling read. 

I was surprised by the equinimity Dr. Carlson’s approach to reporting history, especially since much of the “action” was political in nature.  My personal views regarding “breadwinner” wages and benefits were adjusted signficantly after reading this work.  My passion for the promotion of the family was intensified. 

The conclusion of the research is to be expected since Dr. Carlson is the President of the Howard Center for Family, Religion and Society (http://www.profam.org/Default.htm) and he also holds a position as senior fellow on the Family Research Council (www.frc.org).  Simply put, the family unit is the foundation of a strong and healthy society and must be protected and promoted without reservation.

I highly recommend the book. 

[quotations to follow]

“Simon, son of John, do you agape (ultimate unwavering love) me more than these?”

“Yes Lord, you oida (know) that I phileo (devoted fraternal love) you.”

“Feed my lambs.”

“Simon, son of John, do you agape (ultimate unwavering love) me?”

“Yes Lord, you oida (know) that I phileo (devoted fraternal love) you.”

“Poimaine (tend, guide, care for, rule) my sheep.”

“Simon, son of John, do you phileo (devoted fraternal love) me?”

“Lord, you oida panta (know everything); you ginosko (knowledge that comes from uncovering the “hidden”) that I phileo (devoted fraternal love) you.”

“I command you to bosko (pasture or tend by grazing) my sheep.”

(From John 21.15-17, italicized NA27 Greek Lemma)

A (brilliant) friend of mine asked me last night why we find all the changes in the Greek terms.  He felt like there must be some reason.  After dusting out some of the cobwebs from my Greek, I gave him an answer I was only partially satisfied with, so I did some more digging late last night and early this morning and what to share more fully the answer to this great question.

Many scholars say the terms are all synonymous and shouldn’t be made to seem to be too much.  Other (more pastoral) scholars draw many different inferences from the interchange of terms.  There is not a settled interpretation of this last recorded conversation between Peter and Jesus (from John’s writings), although there are a plethora of great approaches and applications.  In spite of lack of “agreement” I think there are some signficant things we should take away from this dialogue.

To begin, it seems to me that the obvious connection to Peter’s denial must be the foundation for understanding.  The gospels record Peter as being the disciple to most quickly and passionately articulate his devotion to Jesus. Peter is also the only disciple to be recorded verbally and definitively denying even the oida or knowledge of Jesus (Mt. 26.72; Mk 14.71; Lk 22.60).  When Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me more than these (other disciples)?” one must wonder if Peter swallowed the guilty lump in his throat before he said, “Yes.” 

Oddly enough John keeps the question of Peter’s declaration of “no knowledge” during his denial a mystery, choosing instead to simply record that Peter denied being a disciple or being in Jesus’ company in the garden when Jesus was arrested (John 18.25-27).

Why the “love” and “knowledge” interchange then? 

First, Peter knows that his passion for his now resurrected Lord is undiminished, but Peter cannot bring himself to proclaim the love than “never fails.”  How could he to the face of the one he denied?

Second, Peter knows that Jesus is fully aware of his limitations.  Had not Jesus rebuked Satan (Matthew 16.23; Mark 8.33) because of him?  Had not Jesus rescued Peter from drowning (Matthew 14.30-31) due to Peter’s own faltering faith in the midst of the storm?  Peter is willing to go as far as he can genuinely confess;  his phileo for Jesus remains. 

Third, Jesus challenges Peter even at the level of phileo, questioning whether or not Peter can produce even this kind of devoted love.  Peter exclaims what he feels and confesses that only Jesus really knows the reality of the love in Peter’s heart.  Had not Jesus prophesied Peter’s denial (Matthew 26.35, Mark 14.30-31, Luke 22.33-34, John 13.37-38) even as Peter promised to lay down his life for his Lord?  The one who knows betrayal before it happens surely is able to know the depth of love.

This conversation would be brutal if not imbued with grace: 

Jesus graces Peter by giving this man of action specific things to do with his “love.”  To Peter is given the responsibility of being under-shepherd of the Great Shepherd who first promised, and then performed, the ”laying down of his life for his sheep.” (John 10.11) What magnificent affirmation to be given such an honor. Still, one can only imagine how difficult it was for Peter to “keep up” as Jesus alternately challenged Peter’s love and then challenged him to love-driven action.

Jesus further graces Peter by prophesying that Peter will indeed fulfill his promise to “die for him”  thus expressing, by act, agape-level love which Peter could not bring himself to confess with his lips (John 21.18-19).  Peter obviously follows Jesus’ thought pattern here because he wants to know if John will get to fulfill “his promise” (Matthew 20.20ff, Mark 10.35ff, contrast John 18.11) as well.

Jesus responds to Peter in the same manner he still calls each of us:  If you love me, follow me.

Let it be said that I loved (and followed) truly for the sake of the knowledge of the one who loves and knows me!

The following photos are courtesy of the only muzungu in this “snap”!

There is no adequate way to express an experience like spending eight days in Uganda.  It is oft said, ”A picture is worth a thousand words.” so thanks to my friend and co-laborer, Tyler Andrew, I will share several thousand words with you.  This above photo is Tyler (white guy) with my Ugandan children (left to right) Lionnel, Peninah and Isaac.  My favorite part of the trip was getting to spend time with my Ugandan family AND my US family together.  The favorite of the favorite moments was getting to go “door to door” sharing Jesus with Peninah as my translator.  Each of the three served us as translators and it was awesome to see them work out a faith we had only spoken about. 

Our team consisted of (back row first, left to right) Tyler Andrew, Misti Shelton (Leader, Kampala Urban Team), Anthony Shelton (Leader, Kampala Urban Team), David Pack, [Danielle Dean] Robert Franklin, Ryan Franklin, Gary Franklin, Michelle Franklin, Emily Franklin, DeAndra Wagner, Alyssa Franklin. They were an excellent team!

The first site we visited on our mission was Kasokoso in Banda neighborhood Kampala. This “new development” is peopled mostly by individuals displaced from the decades of violence in the north of Uganda (see http://130.94.183.89/parker/sub01wsu.html or http://www.invisiblechildren.com/media/photos/detail.php?id=43528948 or http://friendsforpeaceinafrica.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=236&Itemid=43 for further information). The homes built here are constructed of bricks made of clay harvested on site and cured either by kiln firing (as pictured) or the longer “sun drying”.  One of our friends in the United States donated the money to purchase the land and construct this building.  Believe it or not, this church house cost just over $6,000USD!

The congregation meets in the semi-covered part of the this struture.  The pastor has a vision for the whole facility, but until the congregation grows and they secure additional funding the all squeeze into the space they can afford.

Just outside the meeting place in Kasokoso we started a "balloon riot."

The worship choir at Kasokoso was very proud of their matching T-shirts.  Such a thing is rare among the newer churches.

Worship at the Ugandan churches is an all-out affair. The services normally take more than two hours and it is not unusual for several people to speak.  Ugandans are not tied to Western sensibilities of order and time, even when they talk about it as if they were. 

At Kasokoso Ryan and DeAndra spoke to the congregation. They both did an outstaning job sharing their testimony to faith in Christ. The open and considerate personality of the Ugandan people makes sharing one’s belief in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior almost an effortless activity.

Life in Uganda is not effortless for all but the most wealthy. Nearly the entire population lives in some strata of poverty. In the United States we have strata of the “middle class” in Uganda there is strata of the very the rich and the strata of the very poor. “Middle class” is such a small percentage of the population so as to be statistically non-existent.

Worship is interactive...waving, jumping, marching, clapping, shouting, crying...

 

The church at Kasokoso is boardered by empty land on one side and an alley on the other.  No one except for the missionaries have cars, so parking is not an issue.

Young, Wm. Paul.  The Shack. (Newbury Park, CA: Windblown Media, (c) 2007). ISBN 9780964729230. 

I have an unwritten (but fairly universally applied) rule of choosing never to read anything that makes the NY Times fiction bestseller list.  Because of this personal prejudice, I am late to reading The Shack by Wm. Paul Young and really only did so because of repeated requests for my opinion of the book and due to the “must read” recommendation of someone I know hates poor literature even more than I.

The under-girding storyline is compelling and the theological questions Paul Young tackles are immense and could only be taken up if provided the proper fictional scenario.  The writing is a little uneven as the insertion of difficult and deep theology is interwoven into the flow of the work.  However, most attentive readers should make it through the sections of the book that don’t flow as easily off the page as do the sections that relate directly to the storyline by exerting just a little effort.

I found that the criticisms of the work that I have read and heard are largely unfounded with one single caveat: The Shack is NOT Scripture.  The Shack never claims to be “inspired,” but some people cannot distinguish between a admirable work of theological import and the Bible itself.  I believe that someone who possesses a good Biblical foundation will discover many things to consider as they read the story.  Someone who has a limited or no Biblical foundation should be encouraged to further pursue and discover the God of the Bible for themselves, taking the questions raised (and even answered) by the work with them as they read the Bible.  Those who use The Shack as their sole theological structure will come away with any number of incorrect, and perhaps even crazy, ideas.

I appreciated the following points Paul Young makes through his story:

1. God is completely sovereign, even over things we count as evil.
2. God is not peevish when questioned, nor is He unwilling to bear the brunt of the consequences of our self-declared superiority over Him.
3. God is bigger than our conception of Him and refuses to be placed into any box (that is why He commands, “No idols”).
4. God’s work for good in the midst of unresolved evil is much more significant than the typical “God has a plan” or “We’ll understand it by and by” answers offered by well-inentioned, but unhelpful, religious people.
5. God placed us in human community.  Our rejection of healthy community responsibility and entaglement damages us and others.
6. God forgave and so must we.

The last point was for me the most convicting.  I am a teacher of Scripture and also have the responsibility to lead a lifestyle that would encourage others to emulate Christ.  In reference to my deep distress over the violence of pornography, I publicly stated that I would kill someone who victimized one of my daughters by exploiting them in that manner.  I meant it and I was wrong.

Our world takes the position of judge and executioner, pushing God out of His rightful seat.  I recently watched the movie Taken which is a great example of a completely human response to the wicked depravity of this world:  more wicked depravity administered by the “righteous.”  Paul Young makes the Biblically correct assertion that only God is righteous and my appointment of myself as arbiter of justice over even recognized evil is not my place.  I am not God.  This is an emotionally unsatisfying position to take, but it is thoroughly Biblical.

“Isn’t this wher you are stuck, Mackenzie?  Isn’t this what fuels The Great Sadness? That God cannot be trusted?  Surely, a father like you can judge the Father!”

Again his anger rose like a tower flame.  He wanted to lash out, but she was right and there was no point in denying it.

She continued, “Isn’t that your just complaint, Mackenzie?  That God has failed you, that he failed Missy?  That before the creation, God knew that one day your Missy would be brutalized, and still he created?  And then he allowed that twisted soul to snatch her from your loving arms when he had the power to stop him.  Isn’t God to blame, Mackenzie?”

Mack was staring at the floor, a flurry of images pulling his emotions in every direction.  Finally he said it, louder than he intended, and pointed his finger right at her: “Yes! God is to blame!”  The accusation hung in the room as the gavel fell in his heart.

“Then,” she said wth finality, “if you are able to judge God so easily, you certainly can judge the world.”…

(excerpted from The Shack, “Here Come Da Judge” pg. 163)

I recommend the book.

“Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.” (Ephesians 5:10-16, NLT) 

Since I am on Sabbatical and am doing a lot of research, I have allowed myself some extra time to investigate current news threads.  I am beyond appalled, in fact there is no description short of I am deeply, viscerily grieved.  I feel like I have been living in a insulated bottle.

I have had opportunity to travel extensively.  I have lived all over the United States including some of the largest metro-centers.  I have been aware of evil, of violence, of general depravity.  I have personally witnessed things I have never spoke about with anyone, and things I have shared with a select few.  During the last few weeks I have been introducted to a level evil I knew existed in theory, but never seen in practice.

For instance, I was inadvertenly introduced to a top ten list of movies that excelled in vile behavior in the extreme and pervasive, indescriminate, monstrous violence in the name of entertainment.  From what I have read there is a whole bunch of movies available that make the ”slasher” films look like a 1950’s Disney studio release by comparison.  Many of the most vile parts are readily available (as I understand) on YouTube.  People watch these things.  I read the comments on the list and the films were so indescribably evil that people admitted that they had to turn their face away…they couldn’t watch.

I also “discovered” that there is a female who had a sex change to be a male (but left the female reproductive organs in place) who subsequently became pregant and delivered a child with his/her spouse.  I suppose this is what is referred to a “transgender.”  Of course the current entertainment establishment is fascinated by the story and the couple who would, except for the recent publicity, not appear to be anything less than a unremarkable hetrosexual married couple.  Now they are media darlings and heros for their “bold stand” for their version of sexuality and family which I am still confused about even after reading their own press releases.

I have recently spent time with people driven from their ancestral homes because a group of humans claiming religious sanction have pilliaged, raped, plundered and forced even children into a war that serves only to keep the leadership feared and in power.  These very same people now live at a level of poverty an American would have to personally witness in order to believe.

I could go on and on.  I am not one to bash the world for being sinful, Scripture states clearly that is the nature of the world.  What I will say is that it is time for people who claim to possess the transformative power of the Holy Spirit of the living God to stop being concerned with maintaining lives of relative affluence and peace and to move toward living sacrificially for the sake of not only their family in Christ but also for the systemic replacement of Satan’s caustic power with God’s redemptive love.

I thought I was “wise to the world.”  I was really wrong.  In spite of all my reading, and listening to NPR, and travelling, I have really just be living in an insulated world of the thermos bottle.  I can see out the top, my lid is off, but being aware of the extreme wickedness near and far I have been blissfully unaffected.  I must wake and live and do what I can to make the most of every opportunity.

I am slowly getting out of the protected world, asking God to use me somehow to make a difference for the strength of rightesousness before my days are gone.  I pray many of my siblings will do so as well.

” All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.” (Acts 2:42, NLT) 

In early Christianity the  “love feast “was a regular part of the activity of the church. The saints would gather and have something  akin to a potluck.  They would celebrate the Lord’s  table as part of  the feast. 

 Experiencing this wonderful  event with our Ugandan brothers  and sisters was part of the  “the plan” before we left. While nothing really goes “as planned “on a mission  trip, we were able to eat  with two different congregations of believers before we returned to the  USA.

 Both experiences were  wonderful and difficult.

When a Christian sits down and eats a hearty meal with someone who is hungry, it is  wonderful. I had insisted  on having local fare with  the congregations at Kasokoso and Soweto. The ladies  at Kasokoso labored all night.  Chicken and rice and matooke (cooked, smashed plantains) and sweet potato were ready to eat  immediately after worship. Unfortunately we were segregated and had our own food -something the locals thought we would be able to stomach. Ugandan food is simple but quite good even to the Western palette. I asked our host to give the team a special sampling of the dishes we were not provided initially and they were happy to share. Most of the team were not over-the-top about the dinner but everyone tried a little of what was offered. The big “treat” of the dinner was bottled sodas. For most of those we were sharing supper, a bottled soda was far too expensive to enjoy unless someone else was footing the bill. We ate and watched our family in Christ eat. Seeing hungry children filled was immensely gratifying.  During the supper I was distracted and did not finish my Coke (a rarity for me since I absolutely LOVE Coke in a bottle made with real cane sugar).  Michelle, my wife, noticed there was a young boy eyeing the remaining cola.  She handed me the bottle and asked if the boy could have the rest.  I handed my half coke to the young man and he received it as if it were a treasure.  He smile reminded me of the old “Mean Joe Green” commercial of yesteryear.

In Soweto, we actually rented out a restaurant.  We brought the congregation out of the slum up a street and into a very nice little shop.  Just over 100 of us shared supper together.  The children were again overwhelmed at being offered sodas.  Our missionary friend took delight in serving them. It was almost like Christmas.  The fare offered included the regular beef tail, rice, matooke, posho (grits), white potatos and millet (which is something like overcooked brown malt-o-meal with really fine sand mixed in). It wasn’t the favorite thing to eat. 

When a Christian from the USA sits down in a development of “houses” built almost exclusively for displaced persons (refugees without the official status) it is difficult.  On average I spend more in one day than anyone in either Kasokoso or Soweto will see in a couple of months, some in an entire year.  I never really think about the next meal being available, they wonder every day.  I love variety, they live on the exact same three to five ingredients every day, every meal.  Some suffer from malnutrition because what they do eat doesn’t contain a broad enough spectrum of nutrients.  It is difficult to see brothers and sisters in Christ in such need, such desperate circumstances and to walk away.  I know I cannot.

Over the next few days I will have the privilege of posting some of my recent experiences in Uganda. There is no way to “rank the best” but one of the greatest highlights was the showing of the Jesus film in the Soweto slum in Namuwongo neighborhood of Kampala.

We rented out space in the marketplace.  The marketplace vendors immediately began to complain. We had not yet had opportunity to begin setting up.  The local mosque went into public prayer and our local pastors were trying to smooth ruffled feathers.

Before we erected the movie screen a crowd began to assemble.  Children were anxiously awaiting the candy the “muzungu” were sure to have on hand, men wanted to observe the process of getting the parts together, merchants fussed and grumbled.  By the time the movie was ready to view, darkness had fallen and at least two hundred had gathered.

My team members, Tyler and Gary, handed out candy to the children (now numbering between two and three hundred) and everyone “settled in” as the first credits rolled on the Jesus Film.  There were no chairs, bugs were plentiful.  The crowd continued to swell.

Everyone was quiet and attentive during the “nativity”  and “temptatation” portion of the film but the crowd grew restive as Jesus began to teach and perform miracles.  The first eruption of applause came from the children when Jesus healed Simon’s mother in law (Luke 4.38ff).   The adults gasped in delight when the Simon, James and John pulled up nets full of fish at the commad of Jesus (Luke 5.3ff).  The adults cheere d when Jesus rebuked the religious leaders and declared himself Lord of the Sabbath (Luke 6.1ff).  Even a bigger cheer arose from all quarters when Jesus healed the centurions servant (Luke 7).  The children were especially loud as they saw themselves being raised up by the word of the Savior.

And so it went…the crowd swelled to somewhere between 700 and 1000 standing outside, in the dark, in a marketplace, enraptured by the unfolding of the story of Jesus.  The crowd winced at each hammer strike.  They were still as Jesus was taken to the grave.

And then cheers for Jesus!  He rose from the tomb and the crowd clapped and shouted. 

Then they disappeared into the dark.  And we were left wondering if any would surrender to the story they witnessed. 

For my part, I was deeply moved by the response of those who had never seen such a thing before and I purposed in my heart to be faithful from that point on to join in the joy of the age and offer my cheers for Jesus.

He still is worthy.

“Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James 4.17, NASB

“But whoever has the world’s goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abind in him?  Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.”  1 John 3.17-18, NASB

We have moved.  Stacks of boxes now litter a condominium (could be renamed condominimum) as we attempt to adjust a five bedroom family into a two bedroom home.  For nearly one year Michelle and I and our children attempted to sell our home.  We finally gave up and took the house off the market.  Two days later we received an offer that we could accept and we did.  The sale closed about a month later.

We are exhausted.  Between the preparation to move, the move, dealing with the “evil empire” (our bank) and trying to figure out how to make the best use of a third of the space we so recently enjoyed (and filled) we are stretched to the limit in every way.

I am proud.  My son and daughters have done very well overall.  They have willingly let go of their freedom, independence and space so dad can take them on one of his crazy adventures.

I am humbled.  My lovely wife traded the comforts of a home she worked on for nearly eight years to begin again, with much less.  It amazes me how many useful things we acquired had to go away. 

I am grateful.  A lot of our friends helped generously as we went through this process.  Moving requires as many hands as possible and we used the help of a good sized group.  Some of our friends still store “stuff” we have no idea what to do with; stuff that made it past a garage sale and Craigslist.

Why?

I have long held the opinion we had more “house” than we needed.  However, I enjoyed the space as much as anyone else and busied myself with varied and sundry projects.  After going to Uganda, my opinion transformed into a passion.

My family is growing older and more distant from each other.  The busyness of our lives is becoming frantic.  I have witnessed the formation of nearly separate existences as the “Franklin five” go about the duties and interests of the day.  Being connected enough to hurt when each other hurts and to celebrate each other’s joys is a core value of my family.  No cost was too high to pay to make one last stab at creating that kind of a community in my home.

I desperately want all three of my children to have a well-developed and experienced Christian worldview.  Since the “adoption” of three young people in Uganda, I have been scheming how I could arrange for my American family to meet and understand their new siblings in Africa.  The days have become short for me to do anything with all of them together.  This window was open and I prayed ferverently that God would make it possible to experience what I experienced without them  in Uganda…together.

There were many miracles along the way:  We could not have gone if our house had not sold, Michelle was able to “buy” extra vacation from her employer, the condominium was reduced in price at the last minute, Ryan was unable to get a summer position due to the crummy economy, friends sacrificed time and money and resources to support us even without us asking. 

I get one more big opportunity to live out my faith in a way my children can witness, and choose for themselves, whether or not to live flat-out, no-holds committed to Christ.

I must be clear.  The sacrifices made for this move belong primarily to my family.  We were in no imminent financial danger, but if I had been a wiser steward of money in the past perhaps I could have held on to the house and taken my entire family to Uganda.  As it stood just a month ago, Uganda as a family was financially impossible.  Michelle and I do plan on taking advantage of owing less and having less…we will see what God has in store.

Finally, I am haunted by the instruction and challenge given through James and John.  I know I have a long way to go, but I desperately desire to “do the good I know to do” and to be open handed with my Christian family in deed and truth.  I guess I can genuinely say, “I’ve been moved.”

“…but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…” (1 Peter 3:15, ESV)

During last year’s summer Olympics the American relay teams managed to disqualify themselves by dropping the baton during the transfer from one leg to the next.  These teams were supposed to be gold medal contenders and they did not even advance to the medal rounds (U.S. 4×100m teams both drop batons ).

I recently went to Turkey with a team of very talented friends.  Our primary objective was to serve people we know who live in Turkey…give them a break and some encouragement.  Since we are all followers of Jesus Christ, we also hoped to share the love of God, given through Jesus, with those we came into contact with.

I was on the children’s ministry team.  We were asked to play with kids for five to six hours a day and anticipated to have mostly English speaking children.  The “English” part didn’t happen.  As day one turned to days two and three, we found there was an increase in the number of children who did not speak English as their primary language.  So we used the universal language of play to engage the children.  My team members Mike, Judy and Dana all did a great job of using what they had available to engage children with whom none of us could adequately communicate.

One child “S” and I got along famously.  All I needed was a balloon and a game I had spent countless hours playing as a child.  S and I played for hours and I got to know his mother.  I was excited about the connection and really wanted our host to speak to the woman, perhaps to share the love of Christ in her language.  Our host didn’t see the opportunity at all.  I did everything I could to try to make the conversation happen, but not even a word was exchanged between them.

I was disappointed.  I had hoped for a chance for the good news to go out as a result of our labors and here I though we had opened a door for the local “expert” and “clank,” a dropped baton.

God, in His mercy, didn’t allow me to be overly critical or frustrated, though.  He simply gently and quietly warned me “you’re next.”  I shivered at the Spirit’s word to my heart and purposed to do my best not to be the second team to fail to complete the circuit.

Just like Jesus’ word to Peter was fulfilled, the Spirit’s word to me rang true.  A couple of my team members had made a connection with a multiligual Turk.  He was very friendly and the conversation flowed pretty well–in English!  My team members got the conversation as far as the male-female cultural barrier would allow and it was my turn to take up the baton.

“Clank”

No excuse, no “second chance.”  Just “clank.”   We were out of the race and it was my fault.  This image is now in my heart.  How many times do I fail to take up the baton of someone’s work for the sake of the gospel?  How ashamed I was and how much more now I feel the need to be ready, hand extended, to take up and run.

Some years ago I was presented with an opportunity for a bit of understanding of our father’s heart toward us. My son had a school function for which it was customary for young men to invite young women to accompany them. My son set his sights on a young lady who, by all appearances, seemed to be an excellent choice and also who would not at all mind being invited by him. Being the gentlemen he is, he found a moment—and just a moment—when he could privately ask the young lady to the event. She answered him not yes or no but replied “I am not going to that event.” My son was understandably confused, but with my encouragement pursued the matter with the young lady. He phoned her the next day and offered to take her to a different event if she preferred, she replied that she and a girl friend already had plans. My son then asked if she would like to do something else some other time—she said “yes” or so he thought. However, during the brief conversation she explained to my son that she was not allowed to date—he said he understood and that he would honor her parent’s wishes.

He immediately wrote a very short and complimentary note expressing his excitement over the prospect of the two of them “hanging” out sometime and reiterating that he understood that she was not allowed to date—but that was ok by him, he just wanted to get to know her better. He brought the note to me; I made some suggestions for revision which he applied to his work. She received the note the next day. That very same night my son entered into an instant messaging conversation with the young lady. She rather harshly informed him that he misunderstood her intentions (she had obviously read his note) and that she did not want to hang out with him. My son was crushed. I was in another room when he received the news. He came and asked me to his room, took care of an unrelated item of business, and informed me of the young lady’s communication with him.

I could tell that he felt like there was something wrong with him, that he failed somehow, that his hope of just being valued enough to be known by a female peer had been beaten down severely. I was distraught. I had guided him through the process, counseled him and encouraged him, but the outcome was horrible—he was hurt, disappointed and left out—again.

I did not sleep well that night, nor the next, it was as if his pain afflicted my heart, perhaps even doubly so since I felt responsible: I had guided his unsuccessful attempt.

How much more our Heavenly Father, in encouraging us to follow His will sees us hurt, disappointed, persecuted or left out.  God is not a general coldly issuing commands to his soldiers on the front from the distant warmth of a war room. He is not a coach, intent on His plan being worked out without variance, screaming orders from the sideline. God is not an employer blithely instructing his underlings regarding the tasks of the day. God is the One who says of us “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” (Matthew 25.40)

I understand the meaning of Jesus’ statement far better today.  It is the declaration of a father’s heart.